I write this to chronicle my move out of Sweet Home Chicago to the state of North Carolina,which I admit I was completely ignorant of. I mean who really knows much about any random state other than what you think you know, which is nothing at all usually.
The last summer in the city where my origin story took place was full of my mems, both too sad and joyous to contemplate. If I could peer into the near future and see all the crazy shitstorm that was 2020, I couldn’t even imagine it if I’d tried. The sequel to Contagion happening all across the planet! I mean I already detested China and its product line prior to COVID-19, how much more now. Besides what does a free nation (and the greatest too) possibly have in common with a backwards, greedy and brainless one that’s gotten fat off of our need to buy their cheap shit products?
I spent two months preparing for all the logistical legwork for my move and discarded a ton of crap from my possessions. Bequeathing much things to neighbors I’d actually grown to know over the course of time. This young kid who would watch Sabi next door I was particularly fond of, he was a bright honor student and good looking too (like me) and he fattened up Sabi once which I appreciated while I was away on an adventure. I tried teaching him martial arts in the park and he learned some, but kids nowadays…if it’s not a videogame forget it, they couldn’t learn anything. The teachers nowadays were bleeding heart libertards who cared about the emotions of their snowflake students. I never got away with shit much, I had teachers who were pure evil and delighted in trying to ruin me. They were the kind who were more envious of students than loving toward them. You seldom ever had teachers who saw your true potentiality, they wanted to cluster you into two categories: loser or genius. Of course the ‘genius’ category was how supplicant you were. How politically correct of an adherent to their sense of decorum.
I go and visit all the places, the ones I had mems of. I visit the lakefront, I goto Art Institute several times, I pass through Wrigleyville several times. It feels different now that the cubs won. Too many newish places I didn’t recognize. I also visit all of the eateries and hit Uniqlo on the Mag Mile. Lastly enjoying a meal at Tango Sur and one at Byron’s hot dogs. Then, I take a stroll down Dover street, the street my fam and I lived for the longest. It’s so sentimental and difficult being here, seeing my beloved home in the middle of the street. How I wanted to rush up the familiar stairs and into my old room, and all I could do is stare from across the street. I saw myself peering out the window as I often did, my room was facing the street and I used to peer out of it just daydreaming about things.
The movers came and got all of my things, their next stop would be the public storage in Chapel Hill, NC. My place is barren and empty. On Friday morn of Aug 31st, 2019 I prepared to head out. My car was loaded, my dog was aboard, and my crazy neighbor Paris has me help her and her son moved my mattress into her unit. She’s one of those ebony sisters who has all her nails did and could be quite comical unintentionally. I gave her my space-age mattress as a parting gift, my last act of charitable giving unto this city which I now hated. Over the years the do nothing democratic parasites bled Chicago dry and forced a mass exodus of all the smart people + businesses to flee. My fam moved to NC in 2013. I decided to follow Michael Jordan to his neck of the woods, makes sense.
The road trip is fun. I have a well-sculpted iTunes library. I drove like a madman from Chi to Indianapolis, must have done 90 the whole way there. It’s a lonely highway that cuts through boring Normal Rockwell looking terrain. Once there I’m impressed with the capital, even if I hate Indiana if only because of the rivalry of the Pacers and the Bulls. It’s a filthy, industrial factory ridden state. I did enjoy the Indiana Dunes much, but other than that nothing to see here.
College town, some nice buildings, cute place. I eat a quick bite at 5 Guys. Play ball with Sabi in the park, to the amusement of some bums nearby. I put Sabi in the car and sneak into a Hotel lobby to relieve my aching bladder, enjoying a nice cup of free Starbucks on my way out, heh heh.I call my sister to tell her my location, she laughed at me and calls me a cheap ass for appropriating my free cup of joe. Hah not cheap at all just enjoy appropriating VIP treatment wherever I might be. I’m a super spy like that.
It’s only 2 hrs to my next destination: Lexington KY. I got bummed because I wanted to stop into Colonel Sander’s hometown but missed the exit. In Lexington, I admire the house architecture, quite distinct. The blistering heat told me I wasn’t in the north anymore. This felt new to me. When I left Chitown the subtle telltale chill of autumn was starting to permeate the air already. I loved the feel of the southern sun. I could only fantasize about continuous warmth, no more winters as I knew them.
I spent the night at Ramada hotel that allows dogs. In the morning, off to Asheville which is a city in the Blueridge mountains. Arrived without any hitches, a long 3 hr stint through beautiful mountains. I even stopped and passed through an entire tinsel town legit in the mountains, crazy. Couldn’t imagine what it would be like living there. The juxtaposition between being an urbanite to a country bumpkin wasn’t lost on me. Wait till they get a load of me.
First month upon arrival to Carrboro, NC I stayed in my sister’s Airbnb. It’s cozy like I’m staying in a flat straight out of Better Homes & Gardens. People are nice here, or should I say friendlier and cheerful. I meet some of my sister’s yuppie friends at their version of the cheers bar. I didn’t talk much, some were cool others were less conversational or interesting. They were like a cast of characters straight out of a Hallmark channel romance. This is what happens when well to do homeowners lack any real hobbies. They get together and form their own version of ‘Friends.
I feel very weird now like I’m on a perma vacay somewhere and any minute now going back to the Chi.
Funny you dream of this moment, of extraction and being uprooted, finally able to live somewhere entirely newish. Then when it happens you’re totally discombobulated. A month without Chicago pizza was a bit new. Hassles of life!
Okay, sorry I know this was longish. I’ll describe my first digs here in the next episode of my life.