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dif­fer­ent nu nu

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Late­ly I’ve changed. changed for the bet­ter ? who knows. I don’t think it’s a gra­da­tion towards good/​bad. It’s more like sim­ply a sub­tle shift. all of my urban­ite ways appears to have slight­ly sub­sided. That will hap­pen when you’re not sur­round­ed by con­crete tow­ers and herds of peo­ple on their way to work. Where the only plea­sur­able dis­trac­tions were to inhab­it a bar or a café some­place and spend more than you would a fan­cy meal. Just to say you’re doing so to a hun­dred oth­er peo­ple doing so on the dai­ly. As if these things were even envi­able, they’re not. Not when any per­son can eas­i­ly do so w/​o much of a hitch (as they often do).

Now I’m start­ing my 3rd year in North Car­oli­na. A state that I found beau­ti­ful but infu­ri­at­ing, fas­ci­nat­ing and dull, qui­et but alive. It’s rich in nature and bears a seren­i­ty that would make most peo­ple jeal­ous. Its natives were qui­et, proud, sweet, unpre­ten­tious, laid back, and defi­ant. Not to be tak­en light­ly, after all they were the first to bush­whack the British and show them whats up (also why you will see license plates read­ing : First in Free­dom). One thing was for sure they weren’t near­ly as pre­ten­tious, jad­ed, cyn­i­cal, sar­cas­tic or arro­gant as city-dwellers. Nor as reck­less­ly dumb when it came to the great out­doors and deal­ing with nature. What I tru­ly hat­ed were the New York/​Jersey shore space invaders who came here treat­ing them like they were stu­pid. They weren’t. Last time I checked you did­n’t see North Car­olini­ans flee­ing into the cities these peo­ple had fled from in the first place. They loved their guns and their bibles, were hor­rif­ic dri­vers, pleas­ant and enjoyed pleas­ant con­ver­sa­tions about noth­ing hard­ly. They were deeply dis­trust­ful of any­body not from NC though.

Yet I was­n’t from Cali, NYC or NJ, the annoy­ing places. I was from Chica­go, and it might not be the nature par­adise of NC, but we had our own ver­sion of grit. We endured harsh bru­tal win­ters, short lived win­ters, chaos and con­struc­tion, and cor­rup­tion. Had our own tough­ness too. maybe not deal­ing with cop­per­head snakes, but our snakes were most­ly human, heh heh. Treach­er­ous par­a­sites installed into pow­er by the dumb demo­c­rat idiots that infil­trat­ed the city. Usu­al­ly peo­ple from Indi­ana, Michi­gan, Wis­con­sin or Iowa who did­n’t know any bet­ter (still don’t).

Late­ly I came to under­stand that those aspects of city-life sim­ply weren’t. They weren’t con­ducive to my alive­ness, my bet­ter­ment or qual­i­ty of life. All I had known and learned was to wear a mask, sur­vival­ist tac­tics, deal with neg­a­tive peo­ple in neg­a­tive fash­ion and fend­ing off rude behav­iors. You also learn about pol­i­tics real quick­ly, the Machi­avel­lian kind. Cities turned you nasty, tox­ic, unlik­able, and cer­tain­ly apa­thet­ic, fear­ful, dis­trust­ing, and deeply cyn­i­cal. I did­n’t need a ther­a­pist, I was a strong indi­vid­ual from a healthy nuclear fam­i­ly. I sim­ply need­ed to escape from Chica­go, which I did. And I haven’t looked back ever since.

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