nowadays one must train one’s self to deal with all kinds of kookie, crazy, lazy and silly individuals.
know it all nerds: there’s the classic know it all, you can’t escape em. They’re there to inform you of how much they know and want you to know how much they know. They spend lots of time in youtube tutorials and reading blog posts so you know they’re supa smarts 🙂 proud of authors of ‘I’m better than you’ and the sequel ‘I’m still better than you!’.
triggers: if you want to get these people to go ballistic, tell them you’re good at something. It doesn’t matter what: art, writing, math, cooking, or even stupid human tricks, zippo tricks, sleight of hand, whatever. Also compliment others, like ‘Yeah Betty in HR she’s so well read!’ it will certainly get them all riled up.
- gossips: placate them with a good mixture of accurate but minutiae details and some purposeful misinformation, ‘Going boating on my dad’s yacht this weekend’ or ‘I just upgraded to a 100 inch smart tv, I should’ve gotten a 115 inch’.
- Snowflake millennials: new age sensitive people, they want to feel like they’re Japanese and know about everything potentially underground or mysterious. Farm raised food, life coaching, where to buy vintage shit and recycling habits all apply. Don’t talk to them about hot hunny babes in bikini contests, gratuitous explosions or cheating your friends in Texas Hold’em. weaknesses: jealous of anyone born in a different era, particularly the 80’s.
- politically correct nazi’s: they look at you like you’re in an episode of 24. They data mine how you talk, what you say, what you wear and how you stride, analyzing for the slightest imperfection or detail to damn you with. They also analyze your conversations and judge it based on how constrained it is (or isn’t). OC perfectionists who can’t live up to their own ideal standards (nobody can, especially themselves). The best way to deal with them is to strip them of control, whether in words or actions. They’re usually control freaks so disagreeing with them openly and in private is one way to keep them in a hamster wheel. Better to have an enemy preoccupied than focusing themselves on being adversarial.