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Dealing with difficult people

nowa­days one must train one’s self to deal with all kinds of kook­ie, crazy, lazy and sil­ly individuals.

know it all nerds: there’s the clas­sic know it all, you can’t escape em. They’re there to inform you of how much they know and want you to know how much they know. They spend lots of time in youtube tuto­ri­als and read­ing blog posts so you know they’re supa smarts 🙂 proud of authors of ‘I’m bet­ter than you’ and the sequel ‘I’m still bet­ter than you!’. 

trig­gers: if you want to get these peo­ple to go bal­lis­tic, tell them you’re good at some­thing. It does­n’t mat­ter what: art, writ­ing, math, cook­ing, or even stu­pid human tricks, zip­po tricks, sleight of hand, what­ev­er. Also com­pli­ment oth­ers, like ‘Yeah Bet­ty in HR she’s so well read!’ it will cer­tain­ly get them all riled up.

  • gos­sips: pla­cate them with a good mix­ture of accu­rate but minu­ti­ae details and some pur­pose­ful mis­in­for­ma­tion, ‘Going boat­ing on my dad’s yacht this week­end’ or ‘I just upgrad­ed to a 100 inch smart tv, I should’ve got­ten a 115 inch’.
  • Snowflake mil­len­ni­als: new age sen­si­tive peo­ple, they want to feel like they’re Japan­ese and know about every­thing poten­tial­ly under­ground or mys­te­ri­ous. Farm raised food, life coach­ing, where to buy vin­tage shit and recy­cling habits all apply. Don’t talk to them about hot hun­ny babes in biki­ni con­tests, gra­tu­itous explo­sions or cheat­ing your friends in Texas Hold’em. weak­ness­es: jeal­ous of any­one born in a dif­fer­ent era, par­tic­u­lar­ly the 80’s.
  • polit­i­cal­ly cor­rect naz­i’s: they look at you like you’re in an episode of 24. They data mine how you talk, what you say, what you wear and how you stride, ana­lyz­ing for the slight­est imper­fec­tion or detail to damn you with. They also ana­lyze your con­ver­sa­tions and judge it based on how con­strained it is (or isn’t). OC per­fec­tion­ists who can’t live up to their own ide­al stan­dards (nobody can, espe­cial­ly them­selves). The best way to deal with them is to strip them of con­trol, whether in words or actions. They’re usu­al­ly con­trol freaks so dis­agree­ing with them open­ly and in pri­vate is one way to keep them in a ham­ster wheel. Bet­ter to have an ene­my pre­oc­cu­pied than focus­ing them­selves on being adversarial.
Filed under: Notes

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spike is an enhanced human, Chicagoan and poet/writer/visual poet (that is, artiste + designer have a love child). No, I'm not an international male model, thanks for thinking that I was. Ex Walgreens website model? Check. Super spy and underground cyber investigative journalist at random times throughout the day. Formerly the hero known as the uptown avenger (in the windy city).

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