Found in my documents folder, something I’d written sometime in 2016. One of many posts I’ve never gotten around to actually posting online.
I think when we fade from reality, and all of our time is spent here we will come to fully comprehend the error of our own ways almost instantaneously. We will become fully aware of how :
- self absorbed
we all are. We will, also as in Doestovesky’s book the brothers Karamazov discover we really passed, neglected, and took for granted opportunities for a love that wasn’t for the object in questions sake, but for our own sake. The one thing I’ve come to discover, is that for one to become immersed in richness of love, one had to be the one who initiated it, who nurtured it, who promoted it, who fought for it, and who absolutely with potent determination didn’t back off, shy away, make excuses, self sabotage its being. Because I really think, even worse for humans than to elude these chances at redemption that the greatest sin in existence is to sabotage its eventuality. I think God himself would take personal vengeance against you for such blasphemy, for what can it be other than actual blasphemy of a love heretic ?
I know I am fearlessly compassionate, and I love to love. I don’t simply love loving others because I have this huge desire to, I love to love others because I see the instant transformative aliveness it induces in me. I can only liken it to the divine awakening that cuts into me, into my innards that are frozen with paradox and deadness from the toxins of this world. This was a sort of absolute vulnerability that you had to, not with fear, doubt, and reservation but all of your intellect and soul wit willingly commit to. It wasn’t a cheap trick, there was no secret technique. And unlike in the movies it isn’t some stupid detail about your life like a random song, some commonality with art and books. It’s truly just who you really are undisguised, with your mask off and your naked self exposed, to be revealed and appreciated. You’re far more beautiful and attractive than you even realize, so why bother trying to convince others of that fact ?